I've been blogging for a million years.

Or, ya know, maybe ten.

I recently broke up with another guy (*sigh*) and have come to the conclusion that I have no idea how to date.

I mean, I thought I had a pretty good idea. I had the shaving my legs and looking like a girl thing down. I even managed to allow my dates to open the door for me on occasion. I figured I was all set and ready to go! Boy, ws I in for a shock.

So I came online to learn of the things that I am missing. Problem is, I am missing them. So I dont really know what it is I am looking for. I got myself here to this site and blogging was an option and BAM!

Here I am:)

I am Dawn Minator. I have a job in an office for one of them 'big box stores' and I work as a bartender one, maybe two nights a week. I have a roomate and a cat. I will be 29 on Weds. I do not have any children and although I might look like I have a UHaul full of bagage, I travel light.

I am legal seperated from my husband and have been for almost 2 years. We have a decent call-you-every-so-often-make-sure-youre-alive-should-we-get-around-to-signing-those-papers-yeah-but-work/life/girlfriend/boyfriend-is-keeping-me-busy-call-you-again-soon type of relationship. Its not that we are postponing it because we are holding on to the relationship. We aren't involved or influencing each others lives. It just isnt a big deal. I suppose, someday, if I can date a guy long enough to get serious...then I might be more motivated. Eh.

I mention the meeting of the ex cause...well, I keep running into my dates ex's. I dated a guy who was seperated from his wife. We hung out. I met his child and his parents. I found out later, he was still living with his wife. Ya know, as in NOT seperated at all. That was fun.

I dated a guy for quite a while and actually thought 'We could have a winner here!' but every time I turned around his ex was leaping out of the bushes ninja style telling me to 'Leave him alone cause we are getting married!'

So I think I am rather fortunate to have an exhusband who says out of the picture.

I have dated guys that seem like they have all of the qualities I look for only to find that their grasp of reality is hanging by their fingernails.

Since beginning dating after being married, I have been proposed to twice. Stalked once and dumped in the worst way possible by someone I didnt realize I was actually dating. Ya know, since we didnt ever go out. Like...on a date. Ever.

All of this has made me realize that perhaps I should stop trying to fly this plane without taking the required flight lessons. Cause it sucks. Really.

I am going to be looking for answers. Answers to Why? How? Who?

Why do I want to date? My family and friends keep saying, 'Shit, girl, you barely got seperated! Take some time off for yourself!' and to that I say 'Yes, I understand, however, going to the movies alone? Going to parties and bars as a single? Thats just asking for trouble!' And it is. I dont know how life goes for you, but I am always the girl that my friends and family invite the weird single guy over to meet.

(Yeah, I know. 'Shit, girl, you barely got seperated! Take some time off for yourself!' and then they toss some poor guy into the whirlpool of my life.)

I am okay with it though, so lets not get into the whole 'You are just afraid to be alone' thing. Cause I am not. I have gone to parties and movies and weddings and even grocery shopping alone. I can do it, I am okay with it. I just want to do it while holding hands and feeling like part of a team. I want to have someone to chatter with on the way home, ya know? Also, I am not one of those bitter divorcees that are never getting married again. I would like to get married again. Maybe have a kid.

How does this dating thing work? I really thought, you meet a guy (somewhere? this might be part of my problem too) You have some good conversations, maybe exchange contact informaton. Talk a few times and maybe go on a date and see how things progress. Maybe that good first conversation is all ya got. Maybe its the tip of the iceberg. You go out a few times. He parades you in front of his friends, you put him up for scrutiny in front of your friends and then you either date or dont date.

Another How? I have is how do you tell him you dont want to date? (see: Stalker above. That didnt go so well.)

How this has really gone for me is after the exchange of information and maybe one conversation I get the 'Lets hook up' as in sexually, questions. Yeah...not so much. Circle back to the How do you tell him you dont want to date thing. I am totally not interested in a guy, however attractive he seems if he goes for rubbing naughty bits right off the bat. Its kind of a deal breaker with me. Unfortunatly, my friends and family seem to toss these poor men at me alot. I have dated guys for months without ever kissing them much less doing the tango.

Apparently, the idea is I shouldnt want a serious realtionship after ending my marriage. I should want a series of casual flings. Not so, my friends. Not so.

Who to date is also an issue. My ex was covered in tattoos. All large 'epic' pieces. He had peircings and spiked hair. The 'Bad Boy' look without too much of the baggage. He had an okay job and we had a pretty okay life. I went to the opposite extreme after him. Men with ties. No tattoos. Men with cars that cost more than I earn in a year. *shrug* Isssues are everywhere, its just harder to see them some times. I suppose I dont have a type, apperance-wise.

Do not get me wrong. I cannot date someone I am not physically attracted to. I dont think its shallow. It just makes sense.

Theres my start here. I am not really swimming in the pool yet. I dont think I am ready to. I just have my swimsuit on and am trying to decide if I should come out of the changing room.

:)